hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
