smell my finger.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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