if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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