He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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