someone threw a dead crab at me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
