so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
