maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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