Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
