Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
