Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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