i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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