He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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