what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
