She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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