Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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