i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
