Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
