We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
