I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
