Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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