You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
