I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
