I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
