He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
