Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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