Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
