I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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