I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize