im drinking this country out of the recession.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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