so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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