maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
zippers are such a cool invention
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
