I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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