Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
