No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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