Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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