Jerry, you need to find god
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
