I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
