What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just high enough for therapy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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