Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
