she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
