We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
More tranny stories later!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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