just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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