i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
