My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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