just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Even the bartender felt bad for me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
