Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
