but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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