you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
