a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
