i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
